Soul Searching….

I have realized…..small things matter to me, if I love you- it’s always unconditional, if I love you- nothing can make it go away, I am emotional but you would have to be close to me to know that, I don’t like to take advantage of people, actions speak louder than anything you can ever say to me, I am loyal, I talk a lot I cannot communicate efficiently unless it is written, I am too generous at times, forgive things I shouldn’t, I have been in love before, I still believe in love, I am not supposed to be perfect, I am quick to anger, I am allowed to make mistakes, nobody thinks like me- but it’s not my fault, I would do anything for my family and those I love, I want to be someone who my kids and family look up to, I want to make a difference, sometimes I wanna give up, I don’t liked being judged on my past, I can be mean if I feel like you are talking down to me, disrespecting me, or not listening to me, I am different from I was, I am happy being me but I still want to be better, I wish I made all the right decisions the first time, I want to get closer to GOD but I am scared, I have faith but it can be stronger, I do know GOD has blessed me with HIS grace and mercy, he answers prayers, and has never left me but I am human and still have questions, I wanna have financial freedom, I have to undo ALL my poor decisions in order to get where I need to be, I have few regrets and I am working on making my wrongs right, growing up and having to leave people hurts but it’s for the best, I have waaay less “friends” than I realized, the “friends” I gave the least credit to are the ones that have been there the most, and sometimes I need someone to listen- not talk.  Sometimes I need to listen better.  Everyday I learn something new about myself, I am learning to trust, love, and softening my independent stance… I am learning to be me.

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